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Post by Narcissa on Jun 28, 2006 19:20:56 GMT -5
yeah...
thanks ^____^
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Post by Lilly Dragontongue-Skywalker on Jul 10, 2006 16:44:38 GMT -5
Ok. Here's a poem of mine. It was written for a tragedy poetry assignment. It's about 9/11.
I Used to Think the Sky was Blue
I used to think the sky was blue flying high above the world. I sat in the middle seat, mommy on one side, daddy on the other, reading the safety card over and over.
I used to think the sky was blue flying through the night to my vacation. They showed us the safety video as I feel asleep. No need to worry I had it all memorized.
I went to school one morning when the sun was high in the sky. The snarls on the bullies faces greeted me at the doorway. I keep walking towards my friends who protected me from the others and we played under the blue sky, until it was time to leave the playground.
It was the end of school when the teacher stammered that “something” had happened. No need to worry as I walked to my car I had a whole day planned.
I used to go home with my mom every day But that day my dad came home too. I used to do my homework after school But that day I watched the news. I used to think the sky was blue but that day the sky was gray.
I used to be more carefree terrorism, what's that? I used to see the sky as life not as the planes of oppression tearing down the buildings of freedom but that day the sky brought death.
Now I see the sky is gray. Waiting in a line before my vacation. They check all my belongings as I stay alert. I feel a little worried No one knows what can happen.
Now I see the sky is gray looking down on fragile cities below. Sitting by the window, mommy on one side, the whole world on the other, staring at the safety card in front of me.
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Post by Narcissa on Jul 10, 2006 20:48:09 GMT -5
wow...
"all she could say was 'wow'..."
yes, its a quote from Lily's Purple PLastic Purse, but quite fitting for the occasion, i think...
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Post by Lilly Dragontongue-Skywalker on Jul 11, 2006 14:23:50 GMT -5
Why thank you. I really could care less if it's a quote from Lily's Purple Plastic Purse (lol), it makes your point fairly clear. ^_^
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Post by death... you need a life on Sept 13, 2006 17:33:35 GMT -5
I wish things were different Please just let me go back To replace with what I want All the things I lack
My poor heart is broken That much I know is true All because you've moved on And I'm still crazy in love with you
Some things never change That's one I know will always be Because I'm so devoted to you And that's something you refuse to see
my newest rant. its about blake. my last boyfriend. i want him back now and hes engaged and two years older than me. well ta-ta
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Post by death... you need a life on Sept 14, 2006 16:07:31 GMT -5
No it wasnt for school. i got bored in sixth period one day. And Blake, my last boyfriend. The one I broke up with because I loved Andrew but now I like him again.
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Post by death... you need a life on Sept 28, 2006 17:41:50 GMT -5
My lastest work:
True Distortion
Come Come inside Come and see The "Devil's Child" That's what they called him Right from the start So named for his disfigured face Not for what's in his heart But now you see It's in his vengeful soul That the true distortion lies The one thing he could control The distorion of his face Led to a mother's hate Which in turn Changed his dark fate The tears I might have Shed for your dark fate Grow cold and turn to Tears of hate Now that I've shared You must swear never to tell All that you know Of the Angel in Hell
Phantom of the Opera. Many quotes from the end of the movie in this. It's my latest obsession. Well, what do you think? I think it sucks but I think everything I write sucks. That why I'm asking your opinion.
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Post by Narcissa on Sept 28, 2006 21:08:48 GMT -5
Heartfelt Unpleasantness In Eight Stanzas
Calling I lost you I need you I love you I think you’ve Forgotten I even exist.
Calling And calling I need you so badly You’re hurting me Purposely; I get no answer But silence and mist
Remember I held you I told you I love you I still do Forever. Now, isn’t that nice?
What was I? A tryout? To see if You have it? I gave you My heart and You keep it in ice
Frost eats my Heart and you, You did this To me. You Might not have Wished it; it Hurts all the same
Poets like Bittersweet Not those who Live in it. You sit there Unaware I’m just a game.
How are you So cold but Manage to Burn me? You are the Sun to my Cold snowy day
I can’t even Tell you How badly I’m wounded I tried to Form poems; They came out cliché.
Your muteness Is smoth‘ring. I can’t even Hear you, At least give Me answers. Um, is that okay?
You’re beautiful, Gorgeous, A Deity Take me You know that I’ll follow Wherever you lead.
I cannot Compare you To unsightly Venus; she’s No match for You, dear. Please Don’t make me cede. ---------------------------------------------------------------
yeahh....a bit of polishing, and i think its ready for mortal eyes, lol. why are love poem so cliche??? its annoying!!! you try to write a meaningful poem and it turns out more cheesy than...than....something made of cheese.
----------------------------- When‘s the beginning, now When the last ending is Spinning around like the waves on a shore.
Where are you going, now What are you doing, you're Swinging your legs off the edge of the world What am I thinking, now What am I saying, I'm Singing the words that I never did learn Who are you loving, now Who are you calling, you’re Screaming the name of a gone-away girl Why aren’t I speaking, now Why won’t I answer, I’m Steering exactly where I won’t return.
When is the ending, now When the beginning is Spinning around and around evermore.
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not too sure about this one...just started writing it then came back another day and fixed it up...
and beth, your poems don't suck.
i have found that if you write a poem and then go back to it another day when you're feeling a different emotion than when you wrote it, you'll be a much better self-editor....it worksish for me mostly...
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Post by Ana on Oct 7, 2006 22:02:47 GMT -5
you guys, this thread is great, but I think that if you want feedback on your poetry, start a thread and post all of your poetry there. it's more organized that way, you can read feedback more easily. i've started my own thread. Here you guys can post your fave poetry. Or actually start a new thread for your fave poetry.
sorry if i'm barging in, i just realized how fun writing free verse is and so i'm expanding the writer's corner and organizing it. took me long enough.
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