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Post by Narcissa on Feb 3, 2006 12:51:32 GMT -5
heh. was bored so i wrote a sonnet. id like feedback if yall dont mind; also if anyone has something theyd like help or feedback or whatever on, post it here, ok?
Shall I compare you to a moonless night? You’re far more lovely to a certain view Though stars may shine and angels may cause light Far fairer in this lover’s mind are you. On moonless nights such noise from inns explodes! The very air may race or hang as dead; The weak and stupid mortals travel roads; The whining wraiths and ghosts won’t go to bed. But quiet thoughtfulness suits thee so well Your dark eyes dance at anything I say And when you speak it’s sweetness you do tell I much prefer your night to dullard’s day. Your laugh is steeped in madness, pure and sane I love you; wish to hold you once again.
^_______^ in honor of valentines day (and avoiding english hw....) so what do you think???
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Post by death... you need a life on Feb 3, 2006 18:38:59 GMT -5
thats pretty good. ive got some poems to post too. and some songs.
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Post by death... you need a life on Feb 3, 2006 18:49:24 GMT -5
This is my final say./ After tonight, I will be no more. But I can't leave this world/ Without you knowing for sure. I am totally in love with you/ And always have been. But now I truly see./ I see that I can't win So now is the time/ To end this life. This life that's full/ Of toil and strife. When I'm gone/ Will you remember me? You say you will/ But let's see
[Once I'm gone/ I'll watch you from above Your guardian angel/ In the form of a dove. That is, of course, / If I make it there. But not even/ Death is fair. I thought you could see./ I thought you knew. But no one noticed/ Not even you.]
Sometimes I wonder/ If you had known Would you have done anything/ When you saw me alone? Would you talk to me?/ Tell me hello? Asked me out, even?/ Taken me to a show? I doubt you would have./ You don't even care. You probably never even/ Noticed I was there.
[REPEAT CHORUS.]
Tonight's the night/ That I end my life So I can get out of this world/ That's full of strife. This is my last good-bye!
( ^^ this is a song i wrote ^^)
What would you rather? 1. Walking in the sunshine or in the rain? 2. Being near the one you love or being with them? 3. Hugging your love or never letting go? 4. Losing the one you love the most or never having them?
All these questions are easy..... except the last. The first three all have answers.
1. Walking in the rain, because I can cry all I want and no one knows how hard. 2. Being near them, because there's never the chance you might lose them soon. 3. Hugging your love, because now you can feel his sweet embrace maybe just one more time.
As for the last one, I wouldn't know. In my mind, I can't bare the idea of losing him, but in reality, he was never mine to lose.... unfortunately.
I may never know the joys of his love but I hope to continue knowing the joys of his friendship. Which is what I need most right now.
You really have no idea what you mean to me. Please don't stop talking to me over something as stupid as this.
(^^ This is a poem. ^^)
How could you not know That behind my eyes I could see right through All you foolish lies You say you love me And then you hurt me You say you're sorry But I know you don't wanna be Everyone I've met says one thing Your first love never truely dies I guess they were all right I've discovered they're not lies You're a really sweet guy At first most of them are But you're not the first There was one before I could never forget you You'll always be in my heart But all things have to end And we must forever part I'll never forget your smile Not your eyes or your lies Your memory with me forever Behind my green-gray eyes
(^This is the one poem I am most proud of^)
....one more....
Ever wonder what it's like to get through your day without thinking of him and what he might say?
Ever wonder how it would feel if he wondered the same? Then maybe it would be possible to end this stupid game!
Of course, it might be a lie when he says that he hates you and you begin to believe it might not be true.
But, then one day he changes his mind and true love you both can find.
Ever try not to day dream but only end up in a fantasy where you find love and become happy?
Ever hope he dreams, too? Not of you together, just that he dreams with worries light as a feather!
(I'm really proud of this one too.)
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Post by Narcissa on Feb 3, 2006 19:06:28 GMT -5
O____O woah.....nice....i like the first song, its like cool & dark but not melodramatic....i like the the very last one too.......
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Post by Narcissa on Feb 3, 2006 19:21:22 GMT -5
oops!!! just relaized i forgot to post my poem!!! heh heh heh...
Unrequited Love
My love, if I may call you such Your hazel eyes glow melded green Though you are far too blind to much Attention they have clearly seen
Your lovely build, your gorgeous face Such sweet poison, how you tease me! I am unworthy of such grace How can they deem it low to sieze thee?
Oh why must you be so on high? Why could you not be low and mine? But for your blood you might not fly With angels, self-declared fine.
~~~~~~ his cousin was the most popular girl in the grade and none of the other popluar girls wanted to date him. but he was popular and i wasnt so i couldnt have him >__<
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Post by Lilly Dragontongue-Skywalker on Feb 3, 2006 20:49:32 GMT -5
Ok, this is really random, but it's in my AIM buddy profile:
If I hadn't been alone, Would you have been my friend? If I hadn't been oppressed, Would I have ever met you? If I hadn't been so bored, Would we have had such a good time? If I hadn't been afraid, Would you have given me courage? If I hadn't been crying, Would you have made me laugh? If we don't know what true sadness is, Could we ever learn the meaning of true happiness...
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Post by Narcissa on Feb 4, 2006 10:45:21 GMT -5
fabulous!!!!!!!!!!! dude did you write that?? that is awesome!!!!
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Post by Narcissa on Feb 4, 2006 14:10:52 GMT -5
I think my second sonnet turned out well. This is techincally my third but the other one was so bad I didn't even get past two or three lines. I like this one much better.
My darkling fairy lover lies asleep. How quaint that I refer to him as “mine;” I’ve no idea if he is mine to keep Or if another girl thinks him as fine. This boy is made of dream and pretty word; I’ve yet to see his face by light of day. He seems more prone to flight than deer or bird, Yet something in me causes him to stay. Each time I think he’s taken flight for good, He returns to perch beside me still. Who’s the hawk and who ties bell and hood? Who’s the one who comes and goes at will? I may not ever meet this Elvish lad But he’s the sweetest lover that I’ve had.
~~~~~~~ you know girls, im noticing kind of a theme here in these poems and songs.....
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Post by death... you need a life on Feb 4, 2006 17:31:43 GMT -5
yea same here. all of my poems are about andrew but my song is just something i wrote in 1st and 2nd periods one day when i got bored.
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Post by Narcissa on Feb 4, 2006 17:41:39 GMT -5
ive been in an angsty love mood all weekend....
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Post by death... you need a life on Feb 4, 2006 19:00:59 GMT -5
yea me too. when you get 8 high school drama geeks together and play the moulin rouge soundtrack and they all start belting it out, it puts you in that mood if you werent already in it.
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Post by Lilly Dragontongue-Skywalker on Feb 4, 2006 20:06:17 GMT -5
Yeah, I did write that. I was in this: I feel happy, but for some reason people around me are depressed, but that's ok because all things happen for a reason mood, and I decided to write that to prove my point.
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Post by none on Feb 4, 2006 20:48:52 GMT -5
It's pretty good. ok you know? mind if I post my poem here?
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Post by death... you need a life on Feb 4, 2006 21:01:14 GMT -5
no go right ahead.
and the names of my stuff: the song is "My Last Goodbye!", the first poem is "Hardest Message to Send", second is "Behind My Eyes" and third is "Daydreamers"
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Post by none on Feb 4, 2006 21:09:27 GMT -5
yeah, they were pretty good. ok, i'm going to post a poem, that tied me for first place on this contest. ok, you see on the christina forum (CMM) i joined this club called the "happy club" and we have these contests/tasks one one was to write a poem about happiness or love, and i had wrote this poem, so i entered it, and it tied for first place with 8 votes!
SIMPLY WONDERFUL Looking at your picture, I smile to myself Analizing you from your lips to your toes And the way I feel, nobody knows Just lookin' at you gives me butterflies
I love your gorgeous smile It makes me melt If only you knew how I felt Would destiny bring us together?
You bring joy to me But it's a secret And I'm amazed I can keep it You are simply wonderful
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